Happiness. Do we chase it? Do we change our lives to be happy? Do we set a target, so once accomplished, we will be happy?
My theory is that happiness is felt in the moment. But that’s my experience.
I have put plans and goals together thinking, ‘Once I reach those goals, I will be happy’, or I will be closer to happiness. I have changed the way I live, and changed careers, just to feel happier.
But after all that, one thing I have realised is to live in the moment and be grateful.
Too many of us become used to all the goodness that we have and experience in our lives. And it becomes the norm. And then onto the next goal.
But truthfully, every day we live with a roof over our heads and have people in our lives that love us, and we love back, it’s a blessing.
Not everyone has someone, or a roof over their heads.
I know you might be reading this and get frustrated here.
I have been so frustrated in the past when friends have told me ‘Just try to be grateful and you will feel better’.
Eugh! Annoying right?! But in time you will see that it’s the truth. And people have probably told you this because they learnt it from their own experiences, as am I.
Times get tough, but because you have gone through so much already, YOU CAN get through this too. I believe we go through experiences because it helps us along the way for other obstacles. This is life experience.
I’ve spent a whole summer indoors on the weekends and after work, not socialising, but binge watching ‘The Good Wife’. That was probably one of the lowest points in my life, almost like my soul had left it’s vehicle, me. That was heartbreak right there. Once I recovered, that experience almost spurred me on to try to achieve great things for myself.
Happiness is all around us. It exists. If you don’t feel happy now, there are a few small things I tried to help myself.
1. Everyday, write 3 things that happened in your day that you are grateful for, and 3 things that made you happy
2. Write down what will make you happy. Then really think about why that thing is important to you, and what it means to you. Try to analyse to see if its social pressures expected of you, or if is generally something you want for yourself.
It’s great to have a plan or a goal, especially if it helps you to structure your life to feel less anxious. But just because we have not achieved it, does not mean we cannot be happy. There is so much pressure on us to have everything figured out by the time we’re 30, or be married, or have an amazing high salary job. If you are not at those stages, try to silence those external pressure, by turning your mind off to it. It takes practice but you'll get there.
A few years ago, I was still in a place where I was trying to figure myself out. I was trying to get to know myself better and learn how to really love myself. I believed if I figured that out, it wouldn’t matter what life threw at me. Because, I had learnt to master the most important relationship in life – the relationship I had with myself. This belief isn’t for everyone, but I know there are some who haven’t even thought of this.
Those pressures of life – study hard, get a good job, get married and have kids.
Who is this all for? Ourselves? Or for our parents, society and it’s expectations?
Think about it.
All I want is to be able to help anyone reading this post. Pause for a moment and think about the above questions.
I have often felt when you make a decision based on other people’s desires, it can trip us up later on. I’m sure we all have our own examples of this. But when you make a huge life decision, make sure you’re doing it for you.
And if you are struggling in any situation, try to make each day happy for yourself. Do something you love each day, however small. It could be drinking your favourite coffee, and enjoying that first sip in the morning, or watching the sunrise. There is an opportunity to experience happiness. Be open to it and believe it exists.
I often hear a phrase, ‘it’s the small things in life’.
© 2022 Petite Mauritian
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